The Inner Forge: From Limiting Beliefs to Limitless Truth
The Inner Forge Series: Part 4 of 4
I need to be brutally honest about something: Even after breaking free from false validation, understanding the Investment Paradox, and paying the price of change, I almost quit.
Not because I was weak. Not because I couldn't handle rejection. But because I hit a wall that nobody warns you about—the battle between wanting success and believing you deserve it.
The Day Everything Almost Ended
I was staring at Indeed.com, ready to throw it all away.
We have background checks in the finance industry—it's required. One of my recruits, someone with incredible promise, aligned values, and a shared vision to help millions, got denied.
Not for something he was guilty of. Not for any real crime. Just something minor on his record that made him "unsuitable" for finance.
That moment broke something in me. If this amazing person couldn't join our mission over something so trivial, how would I ever fulfill my responsibility to change lives? How could I help people when the system kept blocking the very ones I was meant to serve?
Combined with my business struggles—minimal clients, constant rejection, no after no—I started thinking, "Maybe I need to do something else. Something with less impact, where I won't feel so responsible for people's futures."
But as I calculated what it would take to go back to a regular job, reality hit: I'd have to sacrifice everything all over again, just to build someone else's empire.
That's when I said: "If I can't help people the way I want to, I'm damn sure not going back to making someone else rich."
And that's when everything changed.
The 10X Conference Breakthrough
In September 2023, I went to a 10X conference. The whole purpose was to literally 10X your life—enhance everything by ten times. Your goals, your vision, your identity, your business, your income, your team. Everything.
But the biggest breakthrough came from one simple exercise that I'm going to share with you right now. My mentor stood on stage and said something that would change my life forever:
"Write down three limiting beliefs you have about yourself."
The Belief Flip System
Here's the framework that transformed my life:
Step 1: Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Write down three things you tell yourself that limit your growth. These aren't facts, but they feel extremely true. They're not factually true—you can't point to concrete evidence—but because you believe them, they become your reality.
At that moment, my three limiting beliefs were:
I wasn't worthy to lead this many people
I don't have the time to become successful
I can't help people who have achieved more than me, even with the tools I have
Let me give you some examples of what limiting beliefs look like. A lot of people trying to break out of their broke mindset end up feeling like they can't make a major change in their life because they have family or kids, and they don't have a degree. They feel like they're not anyone special.
They don't tell themselves "I'm not special," but their mind creates the belief. If all you've done is work at fast food restaurants all your life, you cannot see yourself working as head of marketing or head of HR for a top-tier company. You can't see yourself in that role because you don't believe you can do it.
What is your belief that's stopping you from being able to see that you can do that or be that person? A lot of times, that person who's been job hopping—serving, waitressing, bartending—then gets a job at a physical therapist office as an office aide, and they lose out on that job because of their beliefs about themselves.
You'll tell yourself, "Well, I'm not the kind of person that gets a job like that. If I were to apply, I don't have the resume. Nobody would respect me." Those are limiting beliefs. There's no factual evidence that they're true. They're just beliefs.
Yes, they might feel very valid. I might not have had time to work on myself, my own self-care, my own self-development. That might have felt very true for me, and that might have been very valid, but it's not factual. There's plenty of evidence showing people who have amazing time management—they take care of family, kids, their life, educate themselves, work two jobs, and still build a business part-time.
So it's not that I don't have the time because I do have the time. I'm just not great at time management. I'm not great at blocking my time and prioritizing what's important to me. That part right there, that's factual. I can go back and track and see that, but what's not factual is that I don't have time to become successful and work on my self-development.
Step 2: Find Your Dominant Limiting Belief
After understanding your limiting beliefs, write down one dominating belief that sums all of them up. The one limiting belief that ultimately guides your life—that doesn't serve you but controls how you see everything.
For me, that dominating limiting belief was: "I'm not worthy of what I have."
That's how I viewed everything. This wasn't just a thought I had occasionally—it was the lens through which I filtered my entire existence. I'm not worthy of the time I was given on this earth to make a difference. I'm not worthy of the financial tools to help people who make more money than me. I'm not worthy of the leadership experience I have. I'm not worthy of the people who follow me.
This dominating limiting belief didn't serve me, but it guided me. It was the filter through which I processed every opportunity, every relationship, every decision. When you have a belief that ultimately guides your life, it becomes the way you walk every day and the way you look at things. It doesn't serve you, but it controls everything—how you see yourself, how you approach challenges, how you interpret success and failure.
Step 3: Write Three Actual Truths
Now here's where everything changed. My mentor said, "Write down three actual truths about you. Three factual pieces of evidence you can point to in your past—things that counter your limiting beliefs."
My three absolute truths were:
I don't quit. I've never quit anything in my life. I might not finish something if I get what I need from it, but I don't quit. I can go back in time and see all the many times I wanted to quit, that I wanted to give up, but I haven't.
I believe in others. I can point to specific times when people didn't believe in themselves, but I believed in them and gave them the tools and resources necessary to get what they needed, deserved, or desired. I can physically find times when I've done that.
I've found my "why" and why I'm special. My grandmother said to me when I was very young that I was special. I've lived my life trying to figure out what that meant. The reason I'm special is because—I've learned this in therapy—my words, my experiences, my stories, my voice saves people's lives. I learned that while I was in a mental health hospital.
So I have to speak. I have to talk. I have to share my experiences. Because that's a gift that's given to me—it's not something that's easy. It's not something that I want to do, be so vulnerable, be so open about my experiences, my story. I don't want to do that. That's very hard for me. But I have to do it because of the safety of life. Someone has saved my life, so I owe it to God to share my gift.
Step 4: Discover Your Dominating Actual Truth
What is the one thing that wraps all of that up that is actual and factual about the way your life has been run? Not necessarily the way your life has been guided (because that's your dominating limiting belief), but the way your life has actually gone and operated.
Mine was: "My purpose isn't within me, it's within my belief in others."
When I look back at how my life has actually run, my purpose has never been about excelling myself. It's always been about pouring into others, changing and impacting people. If I can't change and impact others, I don't have a purpose. And when I lose that purpose, my depression and mental health issues flare up.
The reason I need to be successful isn't for me—it's so other young Black men who came from nothing can know they can make it too. The reason I have to make money is to pour it into nonprofits and charities. The reason I must be the best financial professional is because I'll be the one with the right values to change the face of the finance industry. The reason I need to be the best content creator is to show people that success requires real work, not just sitting in front of a computer. The reason I have to be the most successful is to prove you can go from death's door with mental health issues and still succeed completely in life.
That's my purpose. It's for other people. To build, encourage, and inspire them.
The Breakthrough Moment
That was the moment I realized I deserved a life of wealth, freedom, and ownership—by identifying my limiting beliefs, shedding them, and living by my actual truths instead.
Here's the breakthrough: I didn't have to worry about impostor syndrome anymore. Once I stopped trying to change my beliefs and just identified them, everything shifted. I don't have to try to believe I'm somebody different. I don't have to force myself to believe "I am successful."
Impostor syndrome becomes irrelevant when you understand and accept your limiting beliefs exist, but refuse to let them guide you. Now I can lead a major financial firm without feeling like an impostor, because my actual truth is that I'm an amazing leader. I've always been one. I believe in others. My purpose IS others. I let those truths guide me instead of my fears.
The Truth About "Deserving"
Here's something else about what we "deserve"—we often attach it only to good things. We say, "I finally got that promotion. I deserved it." And that might feel good to say. But here's the truth: You didn't deserve that promotion. The effort you put in deserved it.
You met a requirement. You met a standard. That's what happened. Your effort earned the promotion, not your inherent worthiness as a person.
This matters because when the opposite happens—when you don't get the promotion despite your effort—do you then believe you didn't deserve it? We take "deserving" so personally, and it eats at us. When things don't go our way, we think, "I didn't deserve it anyway. I didn't do enough. I'm not good enough."
But here's the reality: Whether you got the result or not, the effort deserved the outcome. Your job is just to put in the time, energy, and effort. Then you'll get what's owed to that effort—not to you personally.
I was working with one of my agents who landed a huge deal. He said, "Aren't you so proud of me? I finally deserve this."
I said, "Yes, I'm very proud of you. I'm proud of the effort and work you put in. I'm proud of who you've become. But you don't deserve this deal."
"What do you mean I don't deserve this? You just said I put in all the effort!"
"Exactly. The effort deserves the deal. Not you. Because what happens if you hadn't closed it? Would you feel like you didn't deserve it?"
"Well... yeah."
"That's the problem. When you associate deserving with your personal worth, you set yourself up for constant failure. Because how often do things not go our way? Way more often than they do. So you're constantly reinforcing 'I don't deserve it' when really, it's just that sometimes things don't work out."
You have to separate what you deserve from who you are. It's not about you. Your effort deserves the promotion. Your work deserves the close. But whether you get the result or not doesn't determine your worth.
Building Emotional Durability
After discovering my truths, I still faced daily battles. Here's what kept me going:
The Indeed.com Test
Before quitting, ask yourself:
What did I already sacrifice to get here?
Would I have to sacrifice it again to go back?
Am I quitting a grind—or returning to a cage?
Remember: The price of quitting is rarely a refund. It's usually double payment.
The Responsibility Framework
When motivation fails:
Connect to your deeper responsibility
Identify who's counting on your success
Remember: It's not about you
Let obligation drive action
The Burnout vs. Growth Check
When exhausted, determine:
Am I resisting change? (Old self)
Or carrying the weight of progress? (Growth)
Do I need rest to refuel?
Or am I avoiding the forge?
There's No Hero Moment For Me
People always want the hero moment at the end. The triumphant finish where I tell you who I've become and how perfect everything is now.
But I refuse to give you that lie.
How can I know who I am right now? I'm still writing my story. In a year, I can tell you who I was today. But right now? I'm still in the forge.
Anyone claiming to be the hero of their own story is trying to sell you something. The only thing I'm selling is you—back to yourself.
The Truth About Transformation:
It's ongoing, not complete
There's no finish line
You don't become someone new
You reveal who you always were
Your Inner Forge Awaits
Here's what I can tell you with certainty:
The forge never ends. The work continues. And that's exactly how it should be.
Your Next Steps:
Write your three limiting beliefs
Find your three actual truths
Identify your dominant belief vs. dominant truth
Choose which one guides your next decision
Step into your forge
Remember:
Belief doesn't require hype—it needs evidence
You already have the proof you need
Your excuses are your blueprint
Your responsibility is your superpower
The forge is where you become unbreakable
Final Thoughts
If any part of this series hit home, don't just get motivated. Get responsible. Ground yourself in what's true. Let your actual evidence guide you, not your fears.
And if you need help identifying your own forge, I'd be honored to walk through it with you. Not as someone who's "made it," but as someone who's still in the fire, forging something real.
The journey doesn't end here. It begins.
Thank you for walking through The Inner Forge with me. This concludes our 4-part series.
Want to dive deeper into your transformation? Here are your options:
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"The forge never ends—but neither does your growth."
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