Why Motivation is a Scam (And What Actually Gets Results)

Good day! I hope you're feeling really good today because I've got something powerful to share with you. My last name, Ihekoronye, comes from the Igbo tribe of Nigeria and translates to "never lacking, never without" – essentially meaning I have everything I need. But here's the thing: most of us don't feel that way. We feel empty, less than, constantly comparing ourselves to others or to where we think we should be.

And what do we reach for when we feel that emptiness? Motivation.

But I'm here to tell you that motivation is a complete scam. And I should know – I spent years as a Marine Corps drill instructor, literally being paid to motivate people.

What Makes Motivation a Scam?

Let me define what I mean by "scam." A scam is when you pay for something – whether it's money, time, or energy – and you don't get what you expected in return. You don't get what you were promised.

With motivation, you're making a transaction. You're paying the price of pumping yourself up, getting outside your comfort zone, consuming motivational content, with the expectation that motivation will help you grow, get you out of bed, push you forward, and fuel your life.

But here's the brutal truth: motivation gets you up, but it doesn't get you anywhere. That's it. It's enough to start the run, but it's not enough to push you through the wall when things get hard.

My Wake-Up Call at 2 AM

Let me paint you a picture of what it was really like being a drill instructor. I woke up at 2 AM every single day. Got to sleep around 11 PM or midnight. That's every day, for years.

One of the worst things in the world is having to wake up at 2 AM, put on the same clothes I just sweated through for 20 hours, knowing I'm about to sweat through them again within 15 minutes. We'd run 20-25 miles a day, get no real meals, no time to shower properly or wash clothes.

And my job? To be motivational. To be encouraging. To inspire 18-year-old recruits.

There was absolutely nothing motivating about this. Not in the moment. It hurt. It was painful. Some of the worst years of my life.

So what got me out of bed at 2 AM every single morning when I rolled over thinking "I hate this"?

Responsibility.

The Power of Responsibility Over Motivation

I had a responsibility that was much deeper than any contract with the military. My responsibility was to impact and change these men's lives. They wanted the Marine Corps life, and I made it my personal devotion to give them exactly the lifestyle they wanted and deserved.

When you understand the level of impact you have on someone's life – when you have three months to take an 18-year-old from where they were to exactly where they want to be – that responsibility becomes potent. It fills you.

I didn't wake up at 2 AM because I was motivated. I woke up thinking: "I hate this, but I'm about to change someone's life today."

That's what responsibility does. It pushes you through walls when motivation has already given up and gone home.

The Mental Contract System

Here's a practical tool I use called mental contracts. Imagine writing a letter stating: "I will become a multimillionaire in assets, cash, and properties by 2030. If I don't, I accept that I did not do the hard work it took to get there."

You sign it. In 2030, if you achieved it, you don't need to sign anything – you have the proof. But if you didn't get there, you sign that contract accepting responsibility.

But the real power comes from creating mental contracts with others.

Think about a first-time parent who starts eating healthier and working out because they want to be there for their child's graduation, wedding, and to play with their great-grandchildren. They write a mental contract to their unborn great-grandchild: "Over the next 50 years, I'm going to change my health so I can be there to see you graduate and take you golfing. Love, Great Grandparent."

That letter creates a level of responsibility that gets you to the gym when motivation has completely failed you.

My Mental Contracts

I have mental contracts with my team, with the people I want to influence, with children who aren't even born yet whose lives will be changed by the work I'm doing now.

I want to build a $10 million company because that company will build facilities around the world where underprivileged children can travel, meet kids from other cultures, and learn that there's more to this world than their small corner of it.

If I quit on any of this, hundreds of thousands of lives won't be changed.

There's no option but to wake up and do what needs to be done. I have a responsibility to hundreds of thousands of children.

Structure Your Day Like a Non-Negotiable Job

Here's another key principle: treat your daily routine like a job you can't afford to lose.

When you apply for a job, you research their values, present your best credentials, show up perfectly dressed on day one, and maintain that standard because you have a responsibility to keep that job.

Do the same with your personal schedule. Set it up based on your values, show up with excellence on day one, and maintain that standard because you have a responsibility to yourself and others.

If you can wake up at 6 AM for a job, you can wake up at 6 AM for your own life. The only difference is whether you've identified your responsibility.

The Motivational Pyramid

There are three levels of motivation, and understanding them helps you see why most motivation fails:

1. Situational/Event Motivation (Top of Pyramid)

This is the smallest, most frequent type. You get a new car, you're excited to show it off. But that new car smell wears off quickly. This motivation is fleeting.

2. Inspirational Motivation (Middle)

You work with a coach who gives you actionable steps and tells you "you've got this." This lasts longer because you have specific things to do, and completing tasks gives you more motivation. But eventually, you accomplish the goal and the motivation dies down.

3. Perspective Shift Motivation (Bottom - Largest)

This is where everything changes. Something extremely traumatic or memorable happens that completely shifts how you see the world. Maybe a parent dies young and never meets their grandchild, creating a perspective shift about health and longevity.

Perspective shifts launch responsibility. This is where the real, lasting change happens.

Finding Your Responsibility

You don't have to wait for a traumatic event to find your responsibility. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. What are my intentions? Why am I doing what I'm doing? What's the purpose? What do I want others to get out of this?

2. Why are those my intentions? Where does this desire come from? Why is this what I want to do?

3. Is this the right path for those intentions? Is this job, company, route, or method the best way for my intentions to come true?

Keep asking "why" until you get to the core of your responsibility.

Anchor Your Identity to Triggers

I've anchored my identity to being "the guy who always shows up." My team knows that if they need something, they can come to me. When someone needs somebody to show up, it's me.

This isn't just a nice idea – it's practical. When I go on vacation, I set up systems and people to be that resource while I'm gone, so I'm still showing up even when I'm not there.

Choose an identity anchor: "I'm the person who always _____." Fill in that blank with something that serves your responsibility.

Stop Hurting the People You Don't Know You're Responsible For

Here's the hard truth: if you don't understand these concepts, if you don't find your responsibility and stop chasing motivation, you're hurting people you don't even realize you're responsible for yet.

Stop looking for someone to motivate you. Stop reading motivational books and watching motivational content expecting them to change your life.

Start looking for your responsibility instead.

I promise you'll get so much further when you understand that motivation is fragile, but responsibility is unbreakable.

The Bottom Line

Motivation is a scam because it promises to fuel your life, business, and hard work, but it only gets you started. It's like needing motivation to climb the ladder to the water slide – once you're at the top, you don't need motivation to slide down. You need momentum.

But to get that momentum consistently, day after day, year after year? You need responsibility.

Find yours. Create your mental contracts. Structure your day like a job you can't afford to lose. Anchor your identity to something bigger than yourself.

And stop waiting for motivation to save you. It won't. But responsibility will carry you through every wall you need to break through.

This article is an excerpt from my podcast, The Success Blueprint, which airs live Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings at 8 AM CDT on my YouTube channel or here on LinkedIn. Follow Charming I. for updates on the live podcast. Want to dive deeper into building responsibility-driven success? Check out our resources at reforgedhq.com and discover how to create your own success blueprint based on responsibility, not motivation.